


somebody hurt you (but you're here by my side)

by nothanksweregood (eavis)



Series: straight for your heart (wolfpack au) [2]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: (healthy ones), Alternate Universe - Wolves, Anxious Niall, Boundaries, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-17
Updated: 2017-10-17
Packaged: 2019-01-18 13:04:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12388647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eavis/pseuds/nothanksweregood
Summary: Niall's a bit h*cked up. So is Louis. They're still gonna make this work.





	somebody hurt you (but you're here by my side)

**Author's Note:**

> cross posted to my tumblr! come say [hi.](http://www.nothanksweregood.tumblr.com)

“Lou? I’m home.” Niall straightens from where he’s gently sat the grocery bags by the fridge.

Louis is on the Awful Couch with his laptop, and he slams it shut in the too fast way he does that always makes Niall wince. Whatever Louis’d been watching cuts off abruptly, and Louis bounces up, laptop sliding smoothly into the dip in the middle cushion. “How’d it go?”

Niall shrugs, sorting out the freezer stuff from the fridge and frowning as he fishes out the oatmeal from the freezer bag. “It was fine, yknow.” He pulls the hot dogs out and promptly drops them when Louis touches his wrist, jerking back like Louis’ hand was a hot poker.

Louis backs away immediately, clear to the other side of the room. “Sorry, sorry, I didn’t mean to - I was just going to help you sort everything out, I didn’t mean to -”

He swallows, and Niall wonders bitterly what he’d been going to say. Startle him? Scare the shit out of him? Have to remember what a fuck up Niall is? “It’s - it’s fine, I just - not used to you actually gettin’ up off your arse, am I?” He tries to laugh. It sounds awful, and Louis’ eyes are worried, but he goes along with it, pretending to be offended and making a great show of shaking out the blanket he’d left on the Awful Couch and folding it elaborately over the back of it.

Niall puts the groceries away and they both pretend his hands aren’t shaking as they eat the (slightly burnt) hot dogs and box macaroni and cheese. Louis keeps looking like he’s going to say something and then changing his mind at the last minute. Niall disappears into his room as soon as he can, upending his socks and pants drawer onto the bed and sorting and reorganizing and resorting everything until his hands stop shaking.

Just when he’s finally decided he might as well put out the light and at least pretend to sleep, there’s small knock on the door. He bites his lip, hard, and goes over and opens it. Louis is there, soft and warm looking in his comfiest hoodie and trackies, looking unaccountably nervous.

“Did you - want to come in?” Niall asks, gripping the doorway and praying Louis’ll say no and then feeling guilty for praying that, because it’s Louis’ flat, isn’t it; Niall’s not paying him rent and he can’t even put away the groceries without fucking it up.

“Um, I don’t -” Louis looks even more unsure. “I think - no?”

“Oh.” Niall can’t help it; he sticks a finger in his mouth, even though he knows it’ll make Louis wince.

He does, but he doesn’t tell him to stop, just asking quietly if Niall’d mind coming out to the living room - “Just for a minute, and it’s nothing bad, I promise, no one’s in trouble.”

Louis sits crosslegged on the couch, tugging the blanket down and pushing it over to Niall. “So, um.” He tugs at his hoodie’s drawstrings. “So, I was - about earlier? When I - touched your wrist, you know, and it -”

“You don’t have to worry about it,” Niall cuts in, shrinking back and curling his fingers tightly in the blanket. “I - I was just a little startled, was all, it’s not that big a deal, I didn’t mean to -”

“Easy, Nialler,” Louis says, gently, “I’m not upset, I promise, I just wanted to talk about maybe some - some boundaries? Like, things you’re not comfortable with, about me touching you, or - or you having a space that’s safe for you, like your room or the laundry room or - I dunno, just somewhere you can feel safe.”

“But it’s your flat,” Niall says, startled enough to move closer, “And it’s not - I like that you touch me, Lou, I do, really, just not -”

He stops.

Louis smiles, that same soft and kind of sad smile he gave Niall three months ago when he’d offered him a meal and a place to stay. “Just not your wrists, yeah? Or your face, and not from behind you.”

Niall swallows, looking down at his lap. “I didn’t mean you to notice.”

“I know you didn’t, so that’s why I had to, don’t you see?” Louis leans forward, hands fisted in his hoodie’s pockets. “Because you - you don’t set up any boundaries for yourself, or for me, and that’s - it’s okay to not like things, Nialler, it’s a - it’s a part of getting better, like, and if you don’t want me to touch your wrists, I’m happy to do that, it’s not a problem at all. And at some point, if we get to the place where I do something you don’t like and you tell me to fuck off, that’s great too.”

“I - I don’t - why do you care all of a sudden, if I - I’m gonna - what if I’m not ever okay with people touching my face, or coming up behind me and I’m just - it’s weird and fucked up, getting into a panic about that stuff.”

“No, Niall, no, that’s - it’s good! I mean, not that it’s good, but - it’s normal, I promise, feeling all this when you’ve gone through a traumatic experience, and - shit, I’m not doing this right.” Louis slumps back against the couch arm, looking forlorn.

Niall licks his lips, chewing a little at the inside of his cheek before he says slowly, “So, you - you don’t mind that I don’t like - stuff?”

“No!” Louis looks up, eyes wide. “No, I - it’s fine, you not liking things. And having boundaries, and - all that.”

Niall looks at him for a minute. “Louis, what were you watching earlier?”

“I - whaaaat, I wasn’t - nothing, just some - porn, probably.”

“In the living room?” Niall raises his eyebrows and reaches over to the overturned crate that makes up their coffee table, snagging Louis’ laptop and opening it. The video starts where Louis had shut it off earlier when he’d closed it. 

A man with an accent Niall knows all too well is in the middle of saying, “ -and even small things can be a big first step, when ye’ve been fucked over by someone. Recognising those first steps towards setting boundaries is important for a primary support system, and -”

Louis reaches over, hitting the spacebar and freezing the video on an image of an extremely well-built man in a dress shirt that’s just on this side of two small sitting in front of a camera and gazing earnestly into it. 

“Louis, what is this?” Niall asks, very quietly.

Louis looks away. “I just - I wanted to help, somehow. I hate seeing you - no, not - that’s not right, it’s - I know it’s hard for you, with how often the panic attacks hit and - I just wanted to know more, and this guy’s written loads of articles about mental health, for men especially, and I found his youtube channel, and he’s just - really good at explaining it, so I thought.” He shrugs, fidgeting with his zipper.

“Louis,” Niall says helplessly, and before he’s even thought he tumbles forward gracelessly, landing half in Louis’ lap as hugs him.

Louis makes a surprised noise, but his arms come up quickly enough and he holds Niall close, like he does after one of Niall’s panic attacks. Niall buries his nose just under the crease of Louis’ hood and breathes, trying not to cry. Louis going and looking up articles and watching videos, for  _ him _ , not because he thought Niall was crazy or fucked up, but just because - like he’d do if Niall really were his pack, and Louis his alpha. 

“Thank you,” Niall manages, muffled in Louis’ hoodie.

“Anytime,” Louis says, still sounding a little surprised, but he’s not loosening his hold, and for the first time in a long time, Niall doesn’t want him to.


End file.
